It’ll be my last entry on this particular thread because Dad passed away on December 15th while I was in transit to Johnson City, TN. Mom called to say that he had taken a bad turn and that although it was unclear what his prognosis was, it probably wasn’t long.
I made reservations Sunday evening December 14th, left Manchester, NH Monday morning 6:05 AM. He died around 6:30 AM while I was in route to Charlotte, NC. I didn’t learn of his death until I arrived in Johnson City, TN at around 11:30 AM. I’m always the last to know.
I’m glad I’m here with Mom to help her through the arrangements, provide support (and take some, after all big boys still need their moms) and be here so she’s not alone right now. On my side, I miss him so much – more than I ever expected that I would. As long as I have something to occupy my thoughts and actions I can get buy. It’s in the still of the activity and mind that overwhelming sadness grips me. The void will become manageable and less raw with the passage of time and events, but it’ll always be a void.
I don’t regret not being here when he died. I certainly would have like to tell him I loved him one last time and just sit with him and put my hand is his, but I have no regrets about unanswered questions, unmet expectations, or unfulfilled obligations. I just don’t get to ask any more questions now.
He lived a good life to the fullest, loved my mother for 49 wonderful years, raised me and my brother, and enjoyed his 3 grandsons and granddaughter. He enjoyed life. He was fond of this saying attributed to Bill McKenna:
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW– What a Ride!
That’s my Dad, Larry Earl Axsom, and how I’ll always remember him. If you had a chance to meet him, I hope he left you with that impression too.
