Passages » Dad

Patting Parody

Matt — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:16:39 +0000

I certainly don’t know who in my circle of friends gets gags like this but I figured I throw this one out there:

This parody of the children’s classic Pat the Bunny is perfect for the babies in your life who are interested in physics.

It’s called Pat Schrodinger’s Kitty and if you’re into physics and have ever read your child Pat the Bunny, you’ll get a laugh out of it. Made my afternoon.

If physics isn’t in your repertoire, no problem – here’s a link to information on Schrödinger’s cat so you can enjoy the gag.

Dad would have loved it.

Dad: Gone

Matt — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 04:23:44 +0000

It’ll be my last entry on this particular thread because Dad passed away on December 15th while I was in transit to Johnson City, TN. Mom called to say that he had taken a bad turn and that although it was unclear what his prognosis was, it probably wasn’t long.

I made reservations Sunday evening December 14th, left Manchester, NH Monday morning 6:05 AM. He died around 6:30 AM while I was in route to Charlotte, NC. I didn’t learn of his death until I arrived in Johnson City, TN at around 11:30 AM. I’m always the last to know.

I’m glad I’m here with Mom to help her through the arrangements, provide support (and take some, after all big boys still need their moms) and be here so she’s not alone right now. On my side, I miss him so much – more than I ever expected that I would. As long as I have something to occupy my thoughts and actions I can get buy. It’s in the still of the activity and mind that overwhelming sadness grips me. The void will become manageable and less raw with the passage of time and events, but it’ll always be a void.

I don’t regret not being here when he died. I certainly would have like to tell him I loved him one last time and just sit with him and put my hand is his, but I have no regrets about unanswered questions, unmet expectations, or unfulfilled obligations. I just don’t get to ask any more questions now.

He lived a good life to the fullest, loved my mother for 49 wonderful years, raised me and my brother, and enjoyed his 3 grandsons and granddaughter. He enjoyed life. He was fond of this saying attributed to Bill McKenna:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW– What a Ride!

That’s my Dad, Larry Earl Axsom, and how I’ll always remember him. If you had a chance to meet him, I hope he left you with that impression too.

Dad: Could Be Better

Matt — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 18:55:27 +0000

This past week has been a really down cycle for Dad. A side effect of the liver treatment is loss of appetite and he has it in full bloom. They are tube feeding him now, but that has its own problems as the nutrition is not going where it’s needed and he’s ballooning with fluid. He’s in a lot of pain and discomfort. They’ve asked mom to talk to Hospice which means he probably has less than 6 months and probably more like weeks.

Reading between the lines a bit they are talking about “next week” and some other time frames that would seem to point to a period around Christmas. If he can make it until after Christmas, I’m going down and use some of my vacation to be with him. If not, I’ll go down before.

Dad: Better Signs

Matt — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:15:30 +0000

Perhaps a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy week of reports on Dad’s condition. After yet another night for Dad of restless sleep, low blood pressure and a racing heart, it appears his vital signs are headed in the right direction. Mom called to say that he was sleeping, that his pressure was up and his heart rate down!!

I don’t know if something they gave him finally took hold, his body corrected itself or a prayer was answered, but they didn’t have to shock him back in rhythm. The nurses say he’s sleeping like a log. Be nice to see him on a positive road to recovery after such an ordeal. We all though the last one was going to be the worst. Won’t be thinking that again.

Dad: Treatment 2

Matt — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:15:36 +0000

The Dr put off Dad’s second treatment for a week to allow Dad’s body a bit more recovery time. During that interval we made the trip south to be with him, Mom and my brother for Thanksgiving. I’m glad we had that week with him now, since Tuesday’s treatment is taking its toll.

He’s not recovering well and in fact is having cardio trouble. His blood pressure is extremely low, his breathing is shallow and his heart is racing at times. Mom updated me yesterday (Wednesday) on his heart problems and then again this AM letting me know that he had not improved and was in fact worse.

Just one day at a time, one day…

Dad: Treatment 1

Matt — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:58:17 +0000

Dad had his 1st liver cancer treatment on Monday (11/10). Perhaps due to the expectations set by the Dr, the aftermath was a bit more complicated than anticipated. Mom certainly was a bit taken aback by Dad’s resulting nausa/sickness and pain. He stayed in the hospital over night through the 11th, which was a day longer than anticipated. That said, I’m hopeful that the lessons and expectations from this treatment will help everyone be better prepared for the next one. I should be down there for that one as it occurs the Monday prior to Thanksgiving and I’ll be down there with my family. My brother will be flying in from Florida to be there too.

For me, I was totally unprepared from an expectations standpoint that he would be using a walker at home. I don’t know if that’s from weakness or from the treatment, since they go in through the groin area. I suspect it’s a combination, but probably more the latter. Still, realizing that Dad needs an assist to do something that I’ve watched him do all his lfe, be moble, is a bit jarring. I don’t expect it to be something that’ll last but I imagine it’ll reoccur with the conclusion of treatment. It’ll be interesting to see if he’s able to do without it before the next treatment date.